Some Symbols Repeat for a Reason
Yellow Balloons seen across my work represent safety found in community, fellowship and friendships.
People often ask whether certain objects in my work mean specific things. The answer is yes, but rarely in a fixed way. Most symbols in the paintings evolve over time. They usually begin as novelty, then slowly gather emotional meaning through some association I find later. Its almost predictive.
I began painting yellow balloons because I’ve seen them so often. Now, yellow balloons usually represent fellowship and/or safe passage. This context was inspired by the “Phellowship,” a sober community connected to the band Phish that used yellow balloons at concerts and gatherings so sober attendees could find one another. I became fascinated by the idea that something as simple as a balloon could communicate safety and belonging for people like me inside loud or overwhelming environments. Over time the balloons evolved within the work and began appearing near safe routes, placed by systems attempting to guide others somewhere healthier. Other colored balloons appear as well, but their meanings tend to shift depending on the emotional state of the piece. Balloons in general usually represent community and the emotional connections that help people continue moving forward together.
Arrows are often mistaken for symbols of romance or affection, but in my work they usually represent motivation and inspiration. Sometimes the inspiration comes from real life experiences, conversations, books I’m reading, or even a single quote that stays with me long after hearing it. There is also a character within the universe named Eros who has yet to fully appear in the work. Eros functions less like a traditional figure and more like a force associated with the unseen motivations that quietly push situations forward. Because of that, arrows can represent healing and ambition just as easily as obsession or emotional derailment.
The button relics found throughout the Risperdoll works were partially inspired by sobriety chips and medallions. I became fascinated by how small objects could contain enormous emotional weight. A simple chip can communicate a wide range of experiences depending on who carries it. Experiences like relapse, survival, grief or growth. The relic buttons evolved from that idea. They function almost like compressed identity markers or timestamps.
Lightbulbs usually represent moments of realization or epiphany. In many cases the bulb appears during moments where a character begins seeing themselves, others, or reality differently. Some bulbs glow warmly while others flicker, distort, or fail entirely. I tend to use them less as symbols of knowledge and more as symbols of awareness.
Lanterns are deeply connected to guidance. They often enter the work during periods where mentorship, sponsorship, recovery, or emotional support are heavily on my mind. Many of the lantern-bearing figures were inspired by people helping other people survive difficult situations. The lanterns became symbols of carrying light carefully through dark places rather than eliminating darkness altogether.
Cards usually represent specific individuals, personality structures, roles, or psychological patterns I became aware of through conversation with others. I’ve always liked how cards can feel both deeply personal and strangely universal at the same time. Recently I was introduced to the use of cards within certain spiritual and self-reflective practices, and became fascinated by the way people use symbolism, randomness, interpretation, and ritual as tools for guidance or emotional clarity. Even though my own spiritual practice does not personally involve cards in that way, I found a surprising amount of peace in realizing how many people are genuinely searching for healing, direction, and understanding through different paths. That feeling eventually worked its way into the paintings. A single card can represent may aspects of a single persons identity and experience.
Over time I realized most of these symbols were less about worldbuilding and more about emotional translation. They became a way for me to talk about my life experiences without needing every piece to explain itself directly.
I think that is partially why the symbols repeat.
People repeat the things they are still trying to understand.
